I'm Not a Hero
by Sprinkled-Rainbows
Summary: Dave fails to confess his love to John when he finds some news that affects his friendship greatly. He drifts away from his friends until pirates attack and take John hostage. The only thing you can do is go after him even if your Bro will try everything to stop you. You aren't a hero but you'll do everything you can to save John with or without help. A Piratestuck AU
1. Chapter 1

**NOTE: This is a PirateStuck AU. (I'm re-uploading this because there were so many mistakes) I apologise beforehand for any mistakes and for how short this chapter is. I'll try to update consistently and I'm open for any suggestions. The characters might seem a little OOC but I'm hoping to let them develop throughout the story.**

**Be the cool kid-**

You would if you could stop panicking in a really unattractive, profusely sweating manner. This is what happens when you think too much and really the best solutions is to just stop and go with the flow, however you couldn't stop your brain from thinking and especially not when it involves a certain buck toothed boy who you are having conflicting emotions with right now. You want to ask him out…you want him to be your boyfriend but you still want to be friends which could become strained if he didn't reciprocate those feeling.

Wiping the sweat from your forehead you hide the emotions and fix yourself up a bit as you make your way to the Garden of Prospit, hopefully to have a heart to heart conversation with John, even if you weren't so good when it came to feelings. Briskly walking you keep heading down the main path lit by torches; it's nearly the middle of the night and the place is completely void of people (except for a few animals here and there).

As you ventured further the archway to the gardens came into view which didn't have the most welcoming walk-through arch with vines intertwined and thorny roses protruding at odd angles. You make it inside the garden where visitors are greeted with flowers covering the large area in different patterns and vibrant shades, most being hues of yellow. You used to come here quite often as a meeting place for you, Jade, John and Rose. You all kept in touch although you all drifted apart a little as things changed, for instance John being royalty had more responsibilities and duties to take care of, Rose also had duties as she was also royalty and her mother was currently looking for a suitable husband for Rose (Not like any guy could handle her). Pffft she doesn't need a husband; she's only 16 and lastly Jade-Jade had moved to god knows where a few years back and often sent letters to you which you waited eagerly for and you missed her too much. The letters you send to her always get sent to her cousin Jake, but last time you checked she wasn't there. It would be so much better if you guys could hang out again. It was more difficult to hang out like normal when your friends were busy. You were from a poorer class so your time was mostly taken up by working and honestly you would say you weren't poor because you had a decent lifestyle but lately pay has been going downhill.

You were dragged out of your thoughts as you cleared through the dense maze towards the centre where a fountain sat in the middle. The way around the maze is pretty much ingrained into your mind from all the times you've been lost here. At the edge of the fountain sat John quietly chatting to Rose, but truthfully…you weren't expecting Rose to be here which interfered with what you came here to do in the first place.

Both noticed your arrival, Rose gently smiled whereas John looked down right nervous and not his usual self. Now that you looked at Rose she seemed exactly like her usual self except for the odd twiddling of her thumbs, which you've grown up to know that the movement meant she was uncomfortable (as uncomfortable as a Lalonde could be). Rose was wearing a very elegant and intricate purple dress which contrasted greatly with her pale skin and blonde hair. John however wore simpler fitted clothing in different shades of blue matching his ocean-like eyes. You suddenly had the urge to quote on something to do with oceans and eyes but you really have no idea what that could be.

You attempt to break the odd tension between them by starting the conversation "John…Rose" You nodded "I was hoping to…borrow John for a few moments"

Rose quirked an eyebrow, her lips slightly twitching into a frown "Actually we both need a word with you, David"

"Dave"

"David"

It had only been a few minutes and you were already ticked off. You've always hated how Rose called you David but you guess that's better than what her mother calls you, you'd rather not talk about that at the moment as you have something rather important to get off your mind.

Rose cleared her throat urging John to speak up and all attention was focused on him, you were wondering when the dork would tell you what was going on.

The words that tumbled out of Johns mouth "Rose and I are engaged" slurred together and you are certain that in those moments your brain had frozen, it put the words together but still the sentence didn't seem right. It definitely did not feel like someone had skewered your heart and roasted it while it was still beating, until they chewed it to pieces and laughed down at you. Yeah…It didn't feel like you'd walked into a brick wall and got sat on by a fat woman, crushing your chest and the air being pushed out of you.

You felt the mask on your face slightly breaking and as much as you wanted leave you also wanted to demolish everything around you, even them. The words abort mission ran through your mind and you seriously couldn't tell if he was playing some kind of prank on you or not.

Roses face completely broke into a concerned look as she called out your name, however you ignored her completely. You just needed to process all this in your head and the only way you could do that was to have some time in silence. You stiffly turned to abscond before you actually did damage something.

A cold "Congratulations" slipped out your mouth as you made your way to the exit. You hadn't intended your words to sound venomous but you could feel John and Rose both flinch.

Ignoring the calls issuing from the garden you no longer wished to stay and chat. You just wanted to go home and you don't care about seeing them again for a while. How could you have been so stupid? First of all it was unlikely that John actually liked you but for it to be so badly times like this?. Rose and John are perfect for each other; they are both from royal families and probably have much more in common but that still crushed you. It crushed you that you'd spent the last few months working up the courage to actually say something

How dare they do this to you! How dare they what? It's their entire fault. You have every right to be mad right now. Even saying that you couldn't get mad at them, you were only mad at yourself for getting mad.

Finally you come before your shitty home with its shitty walls where your shitty brother lives. You open the door to see Bro sitting at his desk cleaning a sword and before even a word slipped from his mouth you quickly abscond to your room, not wanting to deal with anything, because you're angry, hurt and you don't want to deal with his crap.

As soon as you entered your room you threw things at the wall in a fit of rage, not caring if your bro would be pissed and not really caring about anything. After you cease the destruction of your room all you can do is sink to floor. You rest your head against the door and stare at the ceiling until you can hear light footsteps almost unheard, but you could pick up the light sounds from Bro flash stepping. He's not as quiet as he thinks. When tears started to stream and sobs racked your body you quickly shoved your head into your arms and try your best not to make any sound. This shouldn't even be a big deal. It's not like you had lost your friends or something important, it was most likely just from the fact that you're really tired and need some sleep. Sleep sounds like a great idea at this moment.

"Dave?"

"WHAT?" You snapped.

"Everything alright?" He questioned.

"Everything's fucking peachy!" You shout with anger spilling over "Piss off"

The door handle starts to turn and you know you can't let him in. Your room doesn't seem as comforting as before with its bare walls and odd puppets spewed about, which you need to remember to throw out the window in the morning. The door handle turned again roughly."I swear to god if you don't leave me alo-"

"You'll what?" Bro deadpanned as he pushed the door enough to slide through. Bro sat quietly next to you staring at the wall ahead, neither of you moved or exchanged words for quite a while and It was nice to just sit in silence, but that didn't make you feel any better at all. As soon as the other Strider went to open his mouth you cut him off."I don't want to talk about it" You mumbled out, barely audible.

"You'll talk or you can carry on having your hissy fit and being a bitch"

"No"

"Fucking talk to me" Bro demanded, his eyes glaring into you. You both weren't good when it came to talking about things like this and you weren't going to start now.

"It's none of your business" Is all you replied which only earned you a disappointed huff from your Bro and a quiet "Night lil man" before he disappeared leaving you alone and once again miserable. You quickly fell asleep.


	2. Chapter 2

**NOTE: I've split the chapters up into characters so sorry if they are shorter than what they were before but it should be longer and more consistent after I've fixed up the rest of the chapters.**

**Be the dorky kid-**

You aren't dorky at all? And you're definitely not a kid in your own opinion however you would describe Dave as being childish at the moment; he just left and you can't believe how rude of him that was. Dave was your best friend and was acting like the marriage was the worst thing to ever happen in his life which is overly dramatic and you weren't too happy about it either. You and Rose don't want to get married but your parents thought an arranged marriage would be appropriate and when you needed your friend the most he shuts you and Rose out. Maybe…He's jealous. It never crossed your mind that Dave could possibly like Rose. This just made you feel worse and Rose probably saw the sadness cross over your face, so she offers a smile and takes her leave with a goodnight. You would offer to walk her back but you know she wouldn't allow it as well as you wanted to go see Dave and possibly talk about…all this.

After a long walk towards his home you never realised how much you enjoyed walking freely in the cool night, without any guards by your side. Chances are that he's gone to sleep but you wanted to clear things up and make sure your friendship was still intact. You've never been to this area much so it seemed completely different to how you remember it, the Striders home looks a little worn down and squashed between other houses with its distorted walls. You knock twice and wait patiently even though regret starts to form in your mind when you realise you've most likely woken both the Striders and possibly earned yourself some negative points. The door opens surprising you slightly as you face Dave's older brother who has always been hidden, so it's like you've only just seen him for the first time and as friendly as Dave has said he is he seems a little intimidating. He quickly looks you over and notices the Egbert crest upon your jacket.

"Um…Hell-" You stutter quietly as he grabs you by the shoulder and pulls you inside, completely startled.

"Dave! Get your ass down here" He shouts to somewhere above.

Well this isn't awkward at all. You literally have nothing to say or do so you stand in the hallway waiting for Dave and inspect your surroundings. It's quite a small place but that only adds to the cosy feeling and the warmth from the fireplace. It's a little dirty but you couldn't expect any less. You think it's a bit rude not to introduce yourself even though you know Bro knows who you are, but you feel completely uncomfortable as he just lounges on the sofa and stares at you…like he's debating whether to say anything or not. After a few minutes of waiting Bro disappears with a flash and you faintly hear a loud thud from upstairs as well as something crashing with a startled yelp.


	3. Chapter 3

**You are now the cool kid**

Who was soundly asleep until you were picked up by a dark figure above you, who flips you upside down and carries you over his shoulder. It doesn't matter how much you protest or resist because Bro is a lot stronger than you and isn't going to let go and what the fuck is he doing. You grab everything you can as he tries to pry you off doorframes and objects you are sending crashing about.

"Get off, just wanna go ta sleep you bum " You sleepily slur.

Bro makes his way downstairs where you notice a familiar face. Ugh you're too tired. John fucking Egbert is just standing there shocked while you not so gracefully faceplant the floor as Bro flips you over.

"I'd be careful" Bro motions to the Dave now sprawled across the floor "Dudes a little crabby"

"fuck you" You angrily shout." What kind of person wouldn't be agitated by someone waking you up and dragging you about like a rag doll?" Not to mention just because Egbert wanted to see you. John just waits for you to get up and you both sit on the couch but as much as John wants to talk you'll probably just fall asleep.

"Dave…we need to talk about what happened" He fiddles with some loose thread on his pants.

"What you on about? Nothing happened"

"Well obviously something made you just walk out on us" John now stares you in the eyes but you turn so you are met with the dull brown wallpaper with its annoying flower pattern. You have no idea why the wallpaper has flowers on but literally every piece of furniture in the house has some floral decoration.

"Dave do you have feelings towards Rose?" He questioned.

You instantly splutter caught off guard but that really was something you weren't expecting. Do you have feelings for Rose? As much as you like her (even if you constantly mess with each other in the most annoying way) she feels more like a sister to you, a pure evil sister who wants to pick your head apart and see what's inside. John is waiting patiently for your answer however, should you admit you like him? No you definitely can't do that because that won't work, Rose and John were going to get married and there's nothing you can do about it…except use Rose as an excuse to explain your actions. Anything you can use so you don't mess up your/their friendship, of course this could possibly add some awkwardness around Rose if she found that you had feelings for her.

"Maybe" You mumble. Now that you think about it, she wouldn't buy it and would only attempt to find out the real reasons for this declaration.

"Wow this must really suck for you…but I just" He pauses "I don't like Rose in that kind of way and the feelings mutual…so if the wedding were to never happen then maybe you coul-"

"John stop"

You stare into him not really sure what to say but you are completely shocked they don't have feelings towards each other and now you're just making him feel guilty for something he can't control. You are such a shitty friend. You run a hand through your hair and let out a sigh "I'm cool with it" Great. There's no way you'll have a chance with John now even if the chances with him at first were still very slim.

"I'm sorry, I wish I could change things but I'm only one person" John whispers.

You want to tell him he's much more than one fucking person and he can do so much more than he thinks he can do.

Dave: Walk Egderp home

That's exactly what you're doing right now even though it's 3 in the morning and you're sure John's dad is going to bake you into one of his cakes and purposefully burn you. You'd kill just to be in bed right now but you couldn't let John walk back at this time and you owe his dad an apology, seeing as John isn't meant to be out here and you're pretty sure it's causing mayhem for the Egberts. You can just imagine all the servants and guards flipping their shit like 'where tha fuuuuck did the lil derp go?' and John's dad is just giving them disapproving glares while planning what cake to bake them into. Yeah…that sounds accurate.

You and John are walking down the path taking a few detours to dawdle a little longer because you really don't see each other as often as you should, or would like to. John looks ready to drop off where he's standing and his pace is getting slower and slower; you both are tired as hell but you need to keep going and hey! He's going home where he can be with his cheerful dad and be with Rose.

"Hey are the Lalondes staying with you for a while?" You'd like to catch up with Roxy for a bit even if you're still pissed about this arranged marriage.

"I think they'll be staying from time to time but not always. I heard Jane will be visiting sometime too" Johns face shifted into a look of disgust because no matter how much John loves Jane he knows the consequences of putting a Crocker with his dad, it will be cake mayhem and you know you'll be over for some free delicious goodies, but John won't allow you to indulge in the cake of such an evil corporation. What's the big deal?

"Um…Dave" You quickly glance at him noticing the change in his voice and how his eyes trail to the ground "Promise me you won't do anything stupid"

"What do you mean stupid?"

"I have this bad feeling that something is going to happen and…" He chuckles lightly running his hand through his hair "Truth be told you always do something stupid"

"What's with the seriousness Egbutt?" This only earns you a whack to the head and a painful one at that.

"Daaaaave! Promise me"

"Sure. How can I resist that cute face anyway" You internally slap yourself for such a reckless comment and hope he takes it jokingly because it doesn't matter how cute you find him, you'll never have him.

"Wow Dave, way to be gay"

Yep. Internal slap initiated you were definitely sure friends can't just say that stuff to each other…unless you're a girl which isn't fair. They get to do everything like cuddle up to each other and get all lovey dovey in the most platonic way possible. Fuck girls.

John changes the subject "So have you heard about the pirates that have been looting through the towns? I hear rumours they're taking any valuables and are moving their way to here" You gladly take the new topic as it's better than having some kind of feeling meltdown in your head.

"Yeah aren't they the ones that killed a bunch of people and stole their stuff but the captain was caught?"

"Yeah and he's being kept in one of the most secure cells. I thought they would hang him but they haven't so there must be a reason to why they're keeping him alive"

"Egbert"

"Like they must be trying to get information from him and they'll keep him alive until they get it. I bet it's something to do with treasure because that's just how it is, the rich become richer and poor more poor"

"Hey Eggman" Yeah John must be tired and as much as you don't mind him ramble on you are now outside the Egberts mansion and he's still mumbling on like he's letting it all go which is quite endearing and fuck it, adorable. As you are ignored you stop dead in your tracks gaining a strange look from your friend but he still forgets you can't step any further unless you are invited by the butt face himself. Yeah John's dad does like to invite guests round but when they are the reason why their son has been gone for a while at night he becomes a butt face. A butt face who gets disappointed at John for making him worry all the time. John's dad is a little overprotective but mostly a butt face when you get on his bad side and there he was standing at the gateway being the biggest…and I'll say it again, huge BUTTFACE. But who knows maybe he'll not be a dick today and he'll forgive his son for being a good friend and wow maybe you should apologise to him seeing as this is your fault.

"Um…hey mister Egbert, sorry abo-"

"David, don't apologise for my sons actions. I will have a guard escort you home safely"

"There's no need I can take care of myself"

"I insist, what kind of responsible parent would I be if I didn't make sure my sons friend weren't safe"

John shrugged and headed inside with a wave and you figured you may as well just accept it but you feel like the old man is judging you. Like he's saying you couldn't take care of yourself if you tried, you'll walk down the street and die from tripping over your feet and smashing your face into the ground. Maybe that was going a little far but that's how you felt even if he meant good. You were quite surprised when you were accompanied by quite a handful of guards which raised your suspicion and interest. He's only ever sent two guards at the most to take you home and it's not like it was that dark. Finally you make it home and are greeted with a grumpy looking Bro who you know is pissed at guards knocking on his door. Before any words are exchanged Bro quickly pulls you in and closes the door.

"Go get some sleep lil man" and that's exactly what you did.


	4. Chapter 4

**Be the sulky kid-**

Dave Strider is not a sulky kid and never will be and has every right to not talk. You're lounging on the balcony at the Egbert's and you seriously wanted to leave but you couldn't, because no matter how much you want to go home you want to see Roxy before she leaves. After hearing about the marriage and talking to Egbert about it you really thought that maybe it would be okay, but you guess it didn't really hit you until you saw Rose and John holding hands. It hurt and you couldn't do anything about it and now you're pissed off as hell and refuse to talk to anyone except to say a farewell to Roxy.

Roxy sat leaned against the balcony and shot a concerned glance at you "Davey babe, ya need to turn that frown upside down" As much as she was trying to lighten the mood it wasn't working. "Dave honey, wanna talk about anything? Got things on your mind you need to talk about?" Of course she knows there's something up but you can't tell her even if you want. You offer a small smirk which is as as close to a smile you'll get at the moment and a nod before you go back to glaring at the wall.

"You gonna end up burning a hole in that wall if you stare at it long enough" She manoeuvres behind your seat and grabs a glass from the table. There are a few chairs around and a table in the middle with different drinks for everyone but most full; Rose is making sure everything is packed correctly and John is probably right by her…smooching her fat butt and John's dad is being less of a butt face and making cake for everyone. At least you have cake to look forward to.

In these last few days people have changed. For once Roxy is drinking less which is most likely to impress John's dad, Rose seems to be closer and more interested in you mostly when it comes to the subject of marriage (she fucking knows and it's so annoying), John is being his usual derpy self except there's been less bro time because he's now expected to see Rose more often…ew, and lastly John's dad wants to get to know you a bit better which is a little weird but he's been trying to 'bond' with you through food and that he needs to take more interest in John's friends."How long will you be gone Rox?" You ask curiously.

"Hmmm not that longgg" She sets her now empty glass on the table and eyes the bottle at the centre. "Does lil Davey wanna hang out? I'm sure Rose would like to have you and Dirk by sometime" She winks at you as she decides that yes she wants the bottle and takes a big swig of it. You knew she wouldn't be able to keep off the booze, you would laugh but a drunk Roxy on your hands is the worst possible situation to land in. You'd really like to just see Roxy because she's the only adult that you feel cares for you…Bro is alright but you need a break from his pranks and creepy ass puppet obsession. Rox and Bro together would be a complete nightmare and they'd definitely join forces into making your time a misery.

"Yeah I'll pop by when you want" You watch as Roxy downs the bottle and already goes for the next. Seriously where the fuck did all this alcohol come from? "Rox?" She keeps drinking "Roxy!"

"Woooops sorreh about tht" She hiccups and pouts when she notices your stern look.

"Calm it with the drinks dude, I thought you were cutting down?"

"I ammm you poo and I'm doin perty wel" She slurs and now she thinks bringing you into a crushing hug is a great idea because everyone obviously wants to be squished to death. You take this chance to snatch the bottle away from her and hide it behind the chair as awkward as that sounds seeing as you can't move too try to untangle yourself from her grasp but fail miserably as she clings on "Awwww so sweet, you know ass see you as mah daughter lil Davey" Yes she just said daughter…

"Um..I-"

You're quickly cut off by a "shooooooshshshssushshshsssss" as she mushes her finger into your lips and pats your head "Don mention it" Roxy keeps petting you until your hair is tangled and a mess "You n Rosey even quarelell…quarabuble…quarrel like siblins"

"Love you too Roxy" You grumpily respond. Lalonde eventually starts patting your face and pulling your mouth probably in attempts to make you smile. "Uh Roxy can I ask you something?"

"Once I geh my drank back"

"Nope" You both have a stare off which you obviously win.

"Ermagerddd fine" She sighs continuing to wrap her arms around you.

"Why did you and Mr Egberto decide to arrange a marriage?"

"Hmmmm well there are som benefits. Might fix the conflict between Derpse and Poospit"

"Derse and Prospit" You correct.

"Pffffft. Whatevs. Plus Rosey nd Jun Eggburp get along well so yah" She gives you a tight squeeze before pecking you lightly on the head and freeing you finally. You watch her make her way to door where she halts and grins at you.

"Alrighty then, I'mma go n see how mister Eggtoe is doin…bye Daaaavey"

"See you Rox"

Once again you're left alone on the balcony, until another Lalonde elegantly sits on the chair opposite to you. Rose takes her drink and quietly sips at it while she crosses her legs and waits expectantly for you to greet her. When she realises you make no move to speak she clears her throat and you already know she's going to try some of her weird therapy or something on you, which at the moment you really wish she didn't. You don't even want to speak to her. "So Dave, have you heard about the pirate attacks? There's quite a lot of commotion about it and many people believe they are going to attack here next, possibly to take any riches."

"Interesting" You deadpan.

She instantly picks up on the hint of sarcasm and annoyance in your voice but brushes it off with a smile. "Quite. Haven't you noticed the increase of security around?" She questions. When she sees that you're not going to answer she breathes out deeply and closes her eyes "Dave is there a reason as to why you are ignoring John and I?"

"I'm not ignoring you"

"Okay, you're less involved in our conversations and prefer to distance yourself when we're together. You also answer with either sarcasm or disinterest." Now she perches her drink on her lap and waits for a response again.

"I'm just giving you and John some space so you two can canoodle"

"Dave, are you upset by the marriage?" Rose frowns and looks into your eyes.

"Stop asking questions you know the answers to" You snap at her from the frustration rising in you.

"Yes, I've had a discussion about this with John. He's worried about how you feel about this and told me you had certain…emotions towards me; however he now feels guilty when he shouldn't. I know you used it as a cover up but he'll eventually find out."

Now it's your turn to grab the drink behind your seat. You don't want to talk about feelings or all that nonsense…that's what girls do and definitely not a Strider. John won't find out and you hope he never does. You're surprised that Rose knew you liked John.

"You don't understand anything Rose. You don't have to worry about nothing"

"This does affect me" She whispers "You're not the only one that doesn't want this marriage to proceed. I have no interest in having John as a partner and he mutually agrees, but it's not our decision."

"Haven't you spoken to Roxy about this?"

"I wouldn't want to disappoint my mother, I've already done enough of that" Rose shifts uncomfortably but relaxes a little more into her chair, the most relaxed you have seen her. "I've been drifting from my mother ever so slowly and she's noticed I'm different to how I used to be"

"Well yeah, you're growing up. How could she be disappointed in you?"

"I'd rather not talk about it"

"Sure, but you brought it up so it's something you want to talk about" For once you want to find out what's going on with Rose because she's always been perfect; no problems or issues going on at home.

"Maybe not now but maybe it would be nice to have a chat with you if you'll indulge me in what's going through that mind of yours" She smirks and you see that like Strider like Lalonde. "How about we go see John now?"


	5. Chapter 5

**Oh look, you're now John Egbert**

You've had an alright day really…Dave was being a big boob and not talking much but after a while he started acting like his usual self again. We got to hang out a bit with Rose and her mother who you've never really talked to that much, but she's not what you expected. It's been a great day even if it's been spent inside but it's almost like how it used to be although you'd really love to hang out with Jade again. It's been a few years since you've seen her and it's not the same with her gone but that doesn't discourage you. You'll all see each other again. Anyway that's not what you should be thinking about right now, what's important is that it's not safe for Rose and her mother to leave yet. Your dad informed you that they were to stay another night as the attacks have increased and there's concern for their safety.

You're sprawled out across your bed throwing screwed up balls at Dave while Rose sits on the end of your bed reading a book, that you know you've had on your shelf for a while but you never understood any of it. Dave sits at a chair in front of your desk and you can see the slight irritation caused from the paper balls; however that doesn't stop you from shooting them. "Dude quit it" He complains but you can see the smirk tugging at his lips.

"Sorry but I'm aiming for your forehead" You retort. You yelp as Dave goes into attack mode and fires some paper balls back at you, this battle goes on for a while until WHAM. Pillows hit both you and Dave in the face and you hear a small chuckle come from Rose as she continues to read like it wasn't her doing.

"Pillow fights already Lalonde? Didn't think this was going to turn into a girls sleepover" Dave laughs and nearly topples from the chair as another pillow hits him squarely in the chest and this time from you.

"You trying to kill me? Was that your plan all along? You'll both gang up on me and hit me with pillows until I surrender to the softness, but I will not surrender. A strider will fight on and defeat all in his path" He spouts as he takes hold of a pillow ready for your attacks. You accept his challenge and grab the two Rose had hit you with.

"You're so uncool Dave" You giggle as you fling a pillow at his face but he defends with his own pillow. After hitting him a few times you both are now on the bed attacking each other as many times as possible until the other gives in. You will not lose to him! Dave shoves you over and hits you repeatedly with one pillow and you attack him from the side. He rolls over and now you've got him as you take one of his two pillows. He uses the other to hit you again and you both roll around for a while until he has you curled up trying to protect yourself from his ninja attacks. He pauses after a while to catch his breath and before you can slide a sneak attack he sits on you.

"Ughhhhh Dave you fatty. I can't move" You wine.

"Good. Surrender now and I'll let you live"

"Never!"

You both completely forgot Rose was in the room until she puts the book back onto the shelf and now sits watching you both. She chuckles and sighs as you both carry on "You two are like a bunch of girls"

"Am not, you just need to learn to have some fun" You manage to say as a pillow is put on your face. You flail about and hit Dave in the stomach where he decides that laying on you is fine.

"Daaaave"

"Not my fault you're comfy as hell egberto"

You roll and push him off the bed where he decides he's too tired to even budge.

"Just gonna sleep on your floor"

You stare up at the ceiling and notice Rose has moved next to you. She leans back against the wall and you all enjoy the silence for a while until it starts to get dark outside. "John?" Rose pipes up.

"Yeah?"

"Do you think these attacks lately are going to get worse?"

"You mean about the pirate attacks? I have no idea"

Dave rolls over onto his stomach and props himself up on his elbows. "Pirates usually attack in the night and quickly leave so I'm sure if they did attack it wouldn't be that bad right? Security should be good around Prospit anyway"

"Dave! Of course it would be bad. Pirates are violent and could kill people" You stare at Dave until he huffs in disagreement and rolls back over.

"Should increase the security at the borders then instead of forgetting about civilians" Dave mumbles.

"What are you talking about? Security has been increased"

"For you it has"

Rose shifts uncomfortable and speaks up when you both go silent "To tell you the truth the security isn't any better, but surely they would be able to stop a crew of men who don't even know their way around here"

"Actually that's not true" You interject "My dad told me that these are some of the most wanted people and have escaped the hanging plenty of times…from what I've gathered their captain is being held captive here but I don't know much about it" You'd wanted to get everything about it out of your dad but he seemed reluctant to tell you much so you asked a few of the guards who didn't care too much. You've found out that he's being tortured for information on the disappearance of the troll princess Feferi Peixes. Sadly you couldn't find out more about it but it does sound interesting and you've never really heard much about trolls, except from some stories.

"Let's just hope they don't attack anytime soon" Rose whispers.

Dave hops up and stretches his arms and back "You worry too much. Looks like I'm gonna take my leave. It's pretty dark out and Bro is grumpy as ever" He chuckles.

"Awww okay, guess it is getting late" You're quite sad that Dave is going back and you hope you can hang out some more this week that isn't inside.

"See you another time Eggderp, Lalonde"


	6. Chapter 6

You're Rose Lalonde right now, or at least you think so. You feel like yourself but floating through an unfamiliar place in a bod that's not attached. Before you is a wide shore and open water where shapes float in the sea. At first you're confused as to what these shapes may be as some of them bob closer towards to. Something brushes your shoulder and you see that it is Dave looking out at the water, his eyes puffy and red almost matching his crimson irises. A choked sob issues from his throat but he doesn't turn to look at you. "Rose…why did you let this happen?" He cries. You have no way to comfort him and guilt consumes you. You simply stand there staring out towards the water and those shapes turn into the bodies of familiar faces, some of your friends and some of people you have not seen in a long time, only a handful are people you do not know. They're all dead. There is nothing you can do to save them and you can't help yourself when you scream. Dave goes into the sea somehow attempting to save them but you know it's too late. Things start to loop and loud banging echoes through this space that you're trapped in.

You're abruptly woken up by someone hitting the door quite forcefully. You're somewhat disorientated and it takes you a while to realise that all of that was just a dream. You are in fact Rose Lalonde and you're in a guest bedroom at the Egberts. Shouting from outside the door becomes louder as your hearing adjusts and you're certain it is John. Before you can climb out of bed the door is broken in and you are face to face with a tall man. The first things that hit you are the smell of rum coming off him and the dirty not taken care of look. You can tell just by looking at him that he's a pirate and there's no way you can take on this guy but you know you can outrun him and that's exactly what you will do. A quick punch to the jaw and some struggling, then you are dead set on finding the John in distress.

Through the halls you can hear people shouting throughout the building and most of them from servants freaking out. You run into a maid who tries to get you to safety but you brush her off and make your way down stairs until John is in your sight. Two large men are carrying him as another guy checks through the rooms bringing with him all sorts of valuables. You completely forget about the pirate behind you and all you can do is try to fight and thrash about until he lets go but he doesn't.

"Ah princess of Derse, what a pricey little girl you are" He breathed as pulls you over his shoulder and you're being taken outside. You would say its midnight and the whole place is lit by fires and the shouts of people. It's complete mayhem. After shouting and screaming as loud as you can he becomes annoyed and swiftly puts his hand over your mouth and as much as you wish you didn't have to do this you decide to bite down hard on his hand. He yells and drops you quickly where you take this chance to search for anyone. You must have slept through most of what was going on out here as dead bodies were piling up on the streets.

You keep running and hoping that you'll find anyone and you do. You see someone that looks quite familiar and you know from his overall look he must be a Strider and more specifically Dave's bro. He's carrying an injured girl and looking around frantically and you can only hope that nothing has happened to Dave. As soon as he notices you he grabs you tightly around the wrist and takes you into a nearby building.

"What the fuck Lalonde" He shouts looking concerned.

"Where's Dave?!"

"Don't ya worry about that. You need to stay right here out of trouble"

"Excuse you!" This guy can't just tell you what to do. "My friends and family are still out there as raging pirates attack"

"I'll take care of all of it okay" He slowly lowers the girl onto the ground and checks her pulse only to find she's deadly still. He sighs and mutters something under his breath as you both stare at the little girl. She looks to be around 10 years old and her dress is drenched in blood which you see covers Bro's shirt and hands.

He leaves faster than you can even blink and you are filled with anger. He can't just leave you here! You need to help John and find everyone else. You run back out onto the street not caring the risk you're putting yourself at but it isn't as chaotic as before. The only sounds you can hear are the distant cries of a woman and a baby and the roar of a fire. A boat is sailing off and it is definitely a pirate's boat and probably the most intimidating ship you have seen that towers over all the other ships and has a dark aura floating around it. That's where John is and at this moment you can't think as clearly or make the best decisions but right now you know you need to go after that ship.

You rush towards a small boat that may have belonged to a fisherman as it's filled with many supplies. It's good enough. You're about to row quickly away but a large hand clasps on your shoulder tightly and you know it's Bro again. He shoves you aside and shouts at you to "get the fuck out" but you glare at him and refuse to budge as you were here first. He makes an irritated sound similar to that you have heard from Dave and quickly starts rowing.

"Is everyone safe?" You question.

You glare at him until he answers with "I'm unsure about your mother and dad Egbert"

"and Dave?"

"Well the fucking lil shit somehow got on that ship after John"


	7. Chapter 7

You're Dave Strider again and right now you're hiding behind some crates…or you were hiding until some huge meaty hands grabbed you by the hair and dragged you out of your spot. You're screwed and unsure of how you're going to rescue John now. "Look what we got ere" The man snarled.

"He ain't worth anything, toss im overboard!" Shouted another and you only now realise just how much deep shit you are in. Before you know it your ass is being hauled upside down and you're being taken towards the sea. Oh my god please don't throw me overboard please don't! You can't even swim.

"Wait a minute. Them demon eyes may get us a hefty price. It's just the type of thing the Alternians are into"

Your ass is put firmly back on the floor and you're grateful you weren't dumped into the ocean. Oh look, those huge fucking hands are coming at you again, they grab your chin roughly as this butt ugly dude peers into your eyes. Ain't no one ogling your gems so you take the opportunity to spit directly onto his face, which obviously was a mistake.

"Piece of shit!" He yells.

"That's Dave to you" You deadpan. A punch lands squarely in your jaw and you are taken back slightly by the force but all you can really do is take it, because there is no other way you're getting off this ship. You see John being roughly shoved about and you both are taken below to the cellar where you are thrown onto the damp floor.

"What do you want with us?" John shouts as the pirate makes his way back up. He gets no reply and slumps back defeated. There's not much around you that you can see because crates surround you and sections off the place. "Why are you here Dave? Surely you didn't let them catch you"

You shrug and give him a rare smile. This situation is nothing to smile about but you can already see John is losing spirit. "Thought I'd save the damsel in distress" You chuckle.

"You're stupid"

"You're a dork"

Johns sighs more loudly than before "Looks like there's no wedding now. Are you happy?"

Ouch, that hurt. He makes it sound like it's your fault but you had no idea you'd both end up stuck on this ship. "It'll just be postponed you idiot and no I'm not fucking happy because I'm not safely at home with my Bro who I have no clue as to whether he's okay"

"You don't think he's dead do you?"

"No. He's too cool to die on me." You stare at the wall in front of you and see all the details of the rotting wood. "You think everyone is alright?" You question.

"Hopefully…"

"Well more bro time for me"

John glares at you in frustration "This isn't the time to be messing around Dave! Our friends and family could be hurt and all you can do is joke about"

"Dude, chill. I'm just trying to lighten the mood"

Egbert tries to relax and lets out a breathy "Sorry" as you resume to looking at dents in the wall. A few more minutes of silence and then John mutters "They're going to kill us aren't they?"

"No" You state.

"They're pirates. What else are they going to do?"

"I dunno. Roast and serve us with a side of lettuce"

"Dave stop"

"Well they aren't chomping on this Strider bootay"

"Oh my god Dave! You can't be serious at all can you?"

"I was being as deadly serious as one can get deadly serious"


	8. Chapter 8

You're now Bro and currently stuck in a boat with someone you would rather not be with; Rose Lalonde. Her eyes stare into you and she's been doing that for a while now. After an hour or so you finally break.

"What?"

"Rude"

Wow that's the first thing she says after all this silence.

"What do you expect me to say?" You snap while rowing more forcefully in the shittiest boat you have ever laid foot in.

"You should have at least introduced yourself like Hello I'm Dirk Strider and it's nice to see you again. What a lovely reunion this is. I'm sorry for not bothering to keep in contact with you for such a long time, but it's okay because I think you and your mother deserve more respect than me and-"

"I wouldn't say that even if I wanted to" You cut off.

"I know" and there she is just looking at you again with those purple eyes of hers.

"You were supposed to stay in that building. You know. Away from danger"

"Is that concern I hear?" She puts a hand over her mouth like it's the most shocking thing ever. Haha she's so funny you're on knees with laughter. Fucking hilarious. "Dirk the last time you were concerned was that time when-"

You cut her off again "Shut up. That's not something we should talk about"

"Why not? It wouldn't have caused any trouble if I told Dave"

"Do you think he wants to know all the shit that's gone on. That one of his friends is his long lost sister?"

"He'll need to find out eventually. There have always been lots of comments on how much I look like Dave"

"Well thank fuck you two aren't alike in personality" yeah she is pissing you off even if that means she's technically your daughter. You couldn't ever tell Dave about this. You and Dave are fine as you are. Alone.

"We could be a happy family" and as sincere as she sounds you don't think she should be bringing this up at a time like this.

"You don't know everything okay. So stop pretending like you do" You shout at her until she turns away. You don't look at each other for a while and you're too pissed off to apologise…even though you know you should. None of you look at each other as the day passes and that's a good thing too to say you need to take the longest piss ever. You'll apologise later seeing as you two will be sharing this boat for a while. It's damn bad luck you had to be stuck with a fucking Lalonde and moreover your daughter that you had left alone with Roxy.


	9. Chapter 9

**You're now Dave again**

You awoke to someone irritatingly tapping you on the cheek so you quickly swat whoever it is on head. You hear a yelp but you don't open your eyes because you just want to sleep.

"Dave!" John whispered into your ear but you started to slowly drift out of consciousness. He called you a few more times coming closer to your face, as you could feel his breath against you. "If you keep ignoring me I'll pour some rum on you"

"..mmm fuck y…" You mumbled. Damn you are way too tired right now. After a while you really wanted to shut John up as his voice grew louder in your ear. Holy fuck you've never heard someone be so annoying. You grab blindly in front of you and grasp John pulling him into you tightly. You start to cuddle him and feel yourself become sleepy once more.

"Daaaaaaaaaaave. Let go of me this is important!" He whined but no. You're not letting him go now; it's his fault and you aren't getting up for anything. You could feel John moving around a little in your arms and some clinking. After some time he struggled against you but whooped with triumph. He twisted around and you really didn't care what he was doing because he was being so quiet right now and then BAM! Something cold and wet poured all over you and you quickly jumped up with a series of curses.

"Fuck John" You nearly screamed. That definitely got your attention.

"I did warn you" He smirked and put the bottle down. Even if your clothes dried it would definitely smell pretty bad.

Someone from above came barging down the steps. He had a bald head and unclean clothes like most of the other pirates on this ship except he wore a mask that covered is entire face. He looks to the bottle of rum lying on the floor to your damp clothes and grabs you by the neck. You were pushed up the steps and thrown onto the floor. "You don't go touchin my rum kid" He spits and takes some rope from another crew member. You kicked and scratched but failed miserably in getting free so now you are currently tied to the mast in the blistering heat. Hopefully John will keep out of trouble and stay quiet below.

"Caliborn, the captain wants to see you right away"

The man before you who you assume is Caliborn saunters off while you attempt to get as comfortable as possible, which is in fact impossible because of how tight these ropes were. They itched and dug deep into your skin but you had to deal with it. There really isn't much more you can do.


	10. Chapter 10

You are Jade Harley who is sitting on the edge of a cliff, peering out at the scenery. You have brought a pile of letters with you to read as you watch the sunset and ocean ahead. It's been a while since you've dug through your letters mostly because you'd told Jake to send them at the end of each month. You would prefer to get them directly to you but you couldn't let anyone know where you were…you just couldn't, Jake is the only one that knows and he understands why you chose to live so distanced from friends and family.

You pick out a letter you recognise from Dave Strider, dated from the start of the month; he's had to wait a while for a reply but hopefully he can wait some more time. It's quite difficult writing to each other when you have to wait so long for each other to receive it. Carefully opening it you smile at the mass of writing in red ink. Shouldn't he know by now it's rude to write in red. You lean back against the earth and lift the letter above your head as you read. As usual he tells you how much he misses you and how you should come and hang out with everyone and then it takes a turn. Dave often wrote to you pouring out his emotions which as much as you were glad he could so easily do so…you were quite sad you couldn't comfort him there and then.

He doesn't mention what has ticked him off but explains how angry and upset he is and wishes he could just stop. Stop what? You know he sometimes…well all the time got mad at his bro but he would always say at the end how he knows it's stupid or it's just the way they are between each other. You couldn't just stop your emotions because that wouldn't be right.

You quickened your reading and found that he carries on about how he hates these feelings and wants to distance himself from everyone, inserting a sarcastic I'll join you on whatever tropical beach you are chilling on. You let out a sigh and wish you could have replied sooner. After you reach half way through the letter he changes the subject to what's been going on, news, a lot of cool stuff that cool dudes do and that Rose and John are going to get married. You re-read the last part over and over until you literally roll over and squeal. This is definitely exciting news and you pull out a piece of string from your pocket, you tie it around your index finger to remind you to congratulate them in a separate letter. The letter ends in a poem that he written and a see you around girl. Folding the letter up and placing it in your pocket as a giggle escapes from you when you think of Dave reciting them in front of you. You miss Rose, John and Dave so much.

The next letter you look at is sent a few days after Dave's, in rushed handwriting with a wax seal. The seal is already broken and you can see that is was originally addressed to Jake. The letter is mostly a scribble but you can make out most of it. You clamp a hand over your mouth as you read about the horrific events of an attack. Not only did they take a lot of possessions but they also murdered innocent people. The pirates have taken a prisoner who was one of the most wanted pirates across the country. People's names are listed who are either assumed dead or missing. Familiar names popped up; Dirk Strider, Dave Strider, Rose Lalonde and John Egbert. Your eyes start to burn when your gaze scans across the list of people found dead…you cannot believe the names scribbled at the bottom. John's father and Rose's mother were murdered.


	11. Chapter 11

You're Dave and you're unsure of how long you've been tied to the mast and really you couldn't give a shit, most of your time was spent asleep or being kicked about by the crew members. The sun has been much more unforgiving and you know your skin is horrifically burned. You've gotten used to the ropes around you but it was becoming painful to move and the itching didn't help but truthfully being in this situation isn't all happy sunshine. Hell fucking no. You've woken up at the right time; most pirates are asleep, the air is cool and the view of the stars is breath taking. You never did pay much attention to the sky at night but you have little to do except stare out into the night. You wonder how John is doing and more importantly how you both were going to get back home.

Your thoughts drifted off until you were brought back to reality as something smashed next to you. You guess they are a pirate but they seem different from the rest, their skin is grey so they must be a troll, a broken horn (unless it's supposed to be like that) and shoulder length black hair. He splutters slightly and then takes a deep breath as he composes himself.

"My deepest apologies, I should have been more careful with your dinner" His voice is deep and you notice a lot of missing teeth.

"F-food?" you croak. Honestly you'd rather have something to drink but food is just as good too.

He picks broken pieces up that you assume was the plate of food he was going to offer. After a while of him attempting to clean the remnants of a shattered plate he begins to sweat profusely as your gaze is locked on him.

"I will be back with more food and water" He quickly leaves and yet again you feel just as lonely as before. You're not too sure what you think of him but he seems pretty nice and holy fucking yes he's bringing you water and saving your dry ass mouth. After painstakingly waiting for him to reappear you hear his footsteps quicken towards you, his tight grip on the plate but he looks even more nervous than before with the amount of sweat dripping from his body. You hear a crack and see that the plate is broken in two however he keeps the pieces together being careful not to disturb the food which as gross as it looks it also is the most food you will have in a while.

"My apologies once again, this task of bringing you food is becoming quite difficult" He places the plate down next to you and loosens the rope. You can't escape but you now have freedom to move your hands which you do, shoving the odd mush into your mouth. It's a peculiar taste but satisfies your hunger as you shovel it down your throat. Decisions have been made, this dude right next to you is a fucking god and you hope he does bring you more of this glorious sustenance. You nearly knock over the glass of water not remembering that any had been brought to you. You gulp down that water down like it's your only lifeline.

"Thanks man" You sigh with contentment "You are?"

The troll seems a little startled that you are making conversation but answers anyway.

"Equius Zahhak" He bows his head slightly and takes the broken plate and glass.

"Dave Strider"

He quickly disappears after he tightens your rope (thankfully not as tight as before) but you wish he could stay and talk.


	12. Chapter 12

You're Rose Lalonde and at this precise moment you're stuck in a boat with McGrumpy-pants. He seems to be at a fragile peak where his short temper gets the better of him, which is mostly due to the stress he is under and his worry for Dave. It's not like you aren't panicking too because you are. Dirk is overdoing it and getting closer to this ship is driving him insane, plus the constant movement of the waves make one a little queasy. Sadly you aren't catching up to the ship…It's reduced to the size of a pea now in the distance and is decreasing in size rapidly. Dirk has black circles beneath his eyes and fatigue is getting to him, his arms are getting a lot slower at rowing than before and he just won't let you take over, even though you offer plenty of times to the point it becomes irritating.

"If you would please allow me to row you could get some rest" You place your hand gently on his knee. He turns your polite offer down with an agitated "No".

"Let me take over" You state bluntly.

"We'll get nowhere with a girl rowing" He mutters under his breath and curses as he realises…that yes, you most definitely heard him.

"Excuse you! Are you implying that I'm incapable of doing the job as you just because I'm a woman" Your cold glare is set on him and you intend to keep glaring until he apologises "I'd understand if you just said that you are more stronger than me because that is most definitely true. But not because I'm a woman"

"You aren't even a woman. You are a girl and I am a grown man"

"You're a grown man who does nothing. You stopped your training and stopped using your swords when you left Derse. I'm a skilled fighter and have been training a lot more than you. It's been 16 years Dirk…nearly 17 and you've done nothing. You sit around all day without a care"

"How would you know?"

"Dave tells me how he's sick of you just sitting around. How you clean these swords you've had since he can remember but you do nothing with them. You miss being a prince of Derse"

"I do not! Dave and I are living a great life on our own. He doesn't need to know about any of that"

"I never said he did. We've gone off topic a little so…I know you won't let me row but you'll have to soon enough; You've been rowing for a long time now and you haven't slept"

He doesn't reply and lets his gaze stare out onto the ocean as the waves begin to become rougher.

"hmmmm I think Dave and John will be okay, they can take care of themselves" You breath out as you place your chin on your hands.

"I wouldn't be surprised if they're already dead"

A storm blows overhead and waves grow in size as you hold onto the edges of the boat.

"um Dirk?"

After a few hours you both are drenched, cold and shivering as waves crash into you both and the wind hits you from all sides. There's not much you two can do except cling to the boat as it's your lifeline. A suddenly large wave hits and sends the boat rolling over, with you and Dirk thrown into the sea. You can't see through the dark masses of water and can only feel a tight grip on your arm as well as the icy sea enveloping you, dragging you into the cold depths.


	13. Chapter 13

You're now Dirk Strider and the ground is oddly wet and sticky…oh it's just fucking sand and sea shit. Your memory is a little fuzzy and you mostly just feel pain from your lungs and nose. After many attempts of opening your eyes you decide that may not be the smartest idea and actually it's the shittiest idea; the sun has never been so bright. Something clicks at the back of your mind that you have forgotten about someone but you let out a sigh of relief when the missing person is trapped in your arms. You release her onto the sand next to you and check her pulse and breathing. Fucking miracles. She's all good. Instead of being a complete dick and waking her up you decide to chill out a bit seeing as you did just escape death however you are suddenly hit with a coughing fit which brings Rose out of her slumber.

"Rise and shine princess" You croak and instantly regret opening your mouth. Your chest hurts so much but that doesn't stop you from coughing your guts up.

Rose gives you a firm pat on the back and starts to inspect her surroundings which you guess you should have done but you are still adjusting to the bright light. The sand is white and the grassy hills are wild and overgrown. This looks neither like Prospit, Alternia or Derse so it must be the Edge. The edge is land stretched between the borders of Prospit and Derse but is not owned by any rulers and inhabited by outlaws or nobodies.

"The boat is broken and it seems all the supplies are lost" Rose mutters to herself "Not only that but it appears we are being watched.

A hooded figure crouched low on the ground starts to panic at the realisation they have been seen.


End file.
